Entries by rachel

So it's been how long since I posted? I don't even want to look... it's been way too long. Does that mean I'm paying closer attention in class and not posting while my teacher is talking? Of course not. I simply had more important things to do in class. But now Children's Theater is all said and done, and I can breathe again.

I must say Children's Theater was amazing. Some of my worst fears became reality (my queen was sick for a performance, and the fire alarm went off) but due to a great cast, excellent ushers, and some other wonderful people, everything went just fine. One of our makeup girls went on stage, we got 800+ kids out of the auditorium in record time, and we made lots of money. I was very proud of every single person involved. It was a very wonderful experience, and I have so many wonderful memories from it. Ok... so now what do I do? Back to my lack of life and weird happenings with boys. But it sure is nice to be able to sleep.

Random comments of the past few weeks... scary things do happen, but it all works out. Some people are astonishingly amazing, and I would be super lost without them. Eventually, people do come back from student teaching. Next year, I will have very few friends. Thus I need to start meeting some new people. This summer is going to be expensive - it is my goal to attempt to earn back everything I'm going to have to spend. Lutheran Worship is an amazing class. I was born for Chorale. We all go back to our comfort zones at some point, no matter how weird they might be. It is possible to have the exact same conversation numerous times over seven years and still accomplish nothing. I can teach, and I will be good. Next summer I will need to live in the midwest. Some classes are simply pointless. I am easily infatuated. I need to be tougher with "my" choir. Seconds may be sloppy to some, but it was a sign of progress for me. There are still loose ends for me to tie up and clean. Choir sectionals anyone? I have started my senior slide a whole year early. It might be a struggle to pass next year. Worship Conference will be fun - I get to sing Rutter's Gloria!! I can always use more sleep.

That's all the randomness for the moment... now to find something else to do during class...

Goodness... it seems like I just got back from Spring Break, and already we're leaving in a week for home. It's crazy, but I need it. It's probably going to be another homework filled break, but what can I do. I honestly wasn't sure that I'd make it to today with everything done, but for the most part I have. I had my big presentation today. There were stupid jokes to be made, lots of fast talking, and a few very made up answers, but I got through it, and my prof didn't seem horribly upset at the end result. Now to write the paper. Yikes. As long as my programs get to the print shop by Friday, all will be ok. Friday night will be another night of homework, and Saturday a day of Children's Theater followed by a concert. It's gonna be crazy...

So I'm back at school. All of my friends are engaged. The funny part is that I'm not really exaggerating all that much - nearly all of them are engaged. So now we talk about flowers and bridesmaid dresses and reception halls all the time... oh well.

Didn't have the best start to my day today... didn't go to first hour (why? good question...) Then second hour I forgot that my assignment needed to be typed. And I have to buy a table saw. (well, by I, I really mean children's theater, and by have to, I mean that it makes for less trouble if I do... ) The crazy start to my morning has left be flustered, and I didn't have time for lunch. I need some chai.

So many things to do, so little time. Target does not have long sleeved solid color t-shirts. I need some. I also need one more pair of fuzzy white slippers in a medium. Too much shopping to be done this weekend, need more time to do homework. The green room is not a place to dump random junk. My room is a horrible disaster, and I so wish I had time to clean it. When has that happened before? I think I'm going to get everything done, but I'm also terrified that I'm forgetting something huge. I fear messing up on the ticket reservations and having a school show up that we have no room for. I fear missing a big assignment and failing a class. Or getting way sick right before production. Or having a fire drill in the middle of a performance. It'll be ok... I just need some sleep.

Week one of vacation is almost done. I feel like I've been home forever, yet if you look at what I've done, you'd probably say I've been home for 2 days tops. I've done pleanty of things to avoid the homework... washed and cleaned out the car, gone grocery shopping, got my hair cut, emailed everyone I know, chatted with some of my student teaching kids on-line... oh yeah... I have actually taken 23 pages of notes (don't be too impressed.. that's 23 pages of outlined typing...) and I have tons of ideas for appendices (appendixes?) and such for the paper... but is there time to do all that? Well, yes, there is time... but will I actually use the time that I do have to get it finished. Currently I am proving my point - watching Clean Sweep and posting instead of finishing up my last book. I tell myself I have all next week... but there are so many other things to do too. My goodness... since when did I become such a procastanator? (not spelled right... I know) Oh yeah... since grade school when i stayed up until 3 to finish the science fair project that I had known about for well over a month. Gotta work on that. Maybe if I actually cared more.

Ok... I'm done - I'm actually going to get to work.

Oh, and Aaron - thanks for the post. It's nice to know someone reads my randomness besides the stupid spammer stuff. If I do get bored, I'll try to remember to send some cookies your way!

What to do with two free weeks at home? About a month ago, I was annoyed with my friends for not wanting to come home with me... but now I'm thankful. If I had someone to entertain as well as do all the other stuff that needs to be accomplished, someone would suffer. As it is, my spring break is going to suffer from a lack of fun, excitment, and all those other things that are supposed to go along with spring break, especially seeing as this is my first year free of EFE requirements. At this point, I'd much rather be teaching. I have a 20 page paper to write (don't even ask, unless you have a long time to listen to me complain), a 50 minute presentation (goes along with the 20 page paper - don't ask unless you have even more time), costumes to sew, not to mention the other homework. Grr.

Ok, that's enough complaining. Today was a fun day. I went shopping with my mom, who was apparently feeling extremely generous. The day would have been great either way, but that made it much better. This however brings me back to the problem of the size of my closet. Something seriously needs to be done about that. Doubtful that I'll have time to deal with that when I get back, but I'll try.

I'd better get back to the homework. If you see me online, say hi to me!!

This marks the first official week of Children's Theater practices... the first official week of having to get things accomplished... the first official week of me being really crabby and trying so very very hard not to take it out on people that I love. I've made it to the halfway point of the week - it's going to be ok.

Random thoughts: I am well aware of the fact that the male gender makes no sense, is a waste of my time at the moment, and should have no control of me. However, actually applying all that knowledge is beyond my ability at the moment. I read too much into things. Some of my profs really need help - or at least need to learn how to focus slides. It's hard listening to someone preach and knowing full well that they really need to take the words to heart. I'm starting to feel very old on campus, and it's only going to get worse. My show is going to be spectacular. We've already sold 1000+ tickets. I think I'm emotionally dependant on choir. Spring Break can't come soon enough. I have way too much to do over spring break - will I do any of it?? I'm writing this in class - I cannot see a way that counterpoint will ever be useful to me - if I did, I would pay attention.

Class is over - choir time! I'll feel better after that.

Super fun day today - Saturday's as they ought to be. It started with sleeping until 9:30. That seems to be about as late as I can sleep these days if I haven't stayed up super late. Then I got to see my student teaching girls play basketball. That was super awesome as I hadn't seen the girls since I left in December. I got attacked at halftime and then again at the end of the game. It was so fun to see them. I also got to bring one of my friends from school along - it was nice to have someone to share it with. Then three friends and I headed up to the cities for an afternoon/evening of good food and shopping. We stopped at Olive Garden for their unlimited soup/salad/breadsticks. Such a deal! Then to a super huge Kohl's, Southdale mall, Old Navy, and finally Culver's. I spent quite a bit of money - but the sales were so awesome! They were all teacher clothes, and of course I'm not teaching at the moment, but I'm sure they'll be useful. Now the problem is the smallness of my closet. But oh well... it was worth it.

So I sit down at dinner in the cafeteria, only to hear my name coming from a table right next to ours. This made me a little curious, especially since I wasn't very close with the girls at the table. Upon further investigation (yes, I was eavesdropping...) I discovered they feel I am not capable of being Children's Theater producer and that another person they had talked to agreed. I attempted to stare them down, hoping that they'd at least realize that the person they were talking about could hear them, but they didn't notice. Now I'm upset. It's not that they think that I can't produce that bugs me, because I know that I can. But just the thought of people thinking I'm incapable of something or that people are putting me down really makes me annoyed. I'm just as guilty about talking about other people as the next person - but seriously - when you don't even know me, what's the point? I guess I'm just a people pleaser - and I know that - and the thought that there are people out there that are not pleased with me drives me crazy, especially when they haven't even taken the chance to get to know me. Reminds me of 8th grade all over again.

Cross week one off the list of things to survive. Add about a million other things on the list of things to do. There is a reason that the school puts a limit on the number of credits you can take in a semester... and there's a reason I've found a few loopholes in that rule - I'm nuts. At the moment I feel slightly overwhelmed. But I'm sure that in about a week overwhelmed will be the norm and I'll be just fine with it. It's as if I feel useless if I'm not surrounded by things I need to do. It will all get done, and I'll feel a huge sense of accomplishment, and then summer will come.

Got to see my kids play basketball today (or at least my boys). It was so fun to be with them again. There's nothing like hanging out with grade school boys for the afternoon - and I really mean that. They played so hard in their games. I was super proud. And my supervisor was worried about me bonding with the kids... ha.

Yep yep, as soon as I get settled in, it's back to crazy freezing MN. It was 60 here today - I'm too scared to look at weather.com to see what it's like in MN. But oh well - at least this time it's back to the real life of classes and fun weekends and the like. I'm really looking forward to real classes - I feel like I have so much left to learn. And I still have some major thinking to do - as in do I really want to be a teacher? Who knows. Comments as to this subject would be appreciated.

I guess it's been a pretty good break. I always feel like I spend too much time at church - don't get me wrong - I love church, but when you're there from 2-9 pm on Christmas Eve and then right back again at 9 am the next day, that's overkill. It's also what you get when you can sing and play the organ (or at least the people in charge think you can - after the Christmas disaster, I am seriously doubting my organing abilities).

Yeah... so I should pack. And email some friends.

Oh - the one person who reads this will be interested in some of the things I got for christmas - an HP PhotoSmart 7660 printer (aren't you proud of me for knowing the model?), a UPS, and TrillianPro. Exciting, isn't it?

Ah yes, I am in beautiful Colorado, no longer freezing to death, and no longer dealing with frizzy hair caused by humidity. (yes, MN is humid, even in the winter, and yes, I can tell the difference) It was a busy last couple of days at school (both MLC and St. John's). It was good times, but very tiring. I was sad to leave my kids on Friday. Many of them felt that I should stay and that their other teacher should go back to school and learn more. I'll keep my comments on that to myself. I had girls crying on Friday and 5th grade boys giving me hugs - something I did not expect, but completely enjoyed. They turned out to be super awesome kids, and I can't wait to go back and visit.

So now I'm at home, (watching the Packers lose, but we're not going to think about that) for another church-filled vacation. I think I'll be home for 11 days total before going back to MN to my grandma's. In those 11 days, I will go to 6 church services, not including the time I need to spend there to practice organ. I am once again thankful that I live 3 minutes from church. Speaking of which (typing of which?) I need to get ready to go there again...

So I don't really have the time to post, but I feel the need to do so anyways. (did you know that anyways isn't really a word? My english teacher aunt told me that over Thanksgiving - however, I will keep using it.) I decided I need to write to record this eventful day - I had my first puker today. One of my sweet little third graders let the chunks fly all over the floor. And of course this had to happen on the day that my supervising teacher had a dentist appointment, leaving me pretty much alone. However, I did what I thought was rational - sent her to the bathroom to wash her hands and got the kindergarten teacher. I didn't feel as though cleaning up puke was quite up there in my list of responsibilities yet, as I'm not getting paid. (yes, I would have cleaned it up had she asked me to, or had there been no one else to do it... but why clean it when someone else will?)

So yeah, just had to share that with the millions (or tens, or one) people/person that reads this silly thing. It shall be a day to remember.

Oh my... it's been a rough one. I'm not entirely sure where to start. Thanksgiving break was fun and productive. I got lots of planning done, so my lesson plans should be fairly simple from here on out. A friend of mine from both Prep and MLC died over break - that was a shock. After lots of calling around to various people, I decided that a quick trip to WI for the funeral was what I needed to do. And it was a quick trip - but I am super glad that I went. There is definitely something to be said for having the comfort of God's Word in a funeral. That was the toughest funeral I've been to - I can't imagine having to go through that without the promise of heaven. I've also learned that there is something to be said for compassionate people, or at least people who act like they are. I thought that the faculty at my student teaching school would be understanding - and they were - and not that I was searching for sympathy, but it really stuck out to me those who asked how I was doing or how the funeral was, and those who were simply worried about my lesson plans. Life is about priorities, and I firmly believe that sometimes important things just simply need to be ignored for more important ones. Apparently not everyone feels this way.

Anyways... after going to bed at 3:30 on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, having a rather difficult Wednesday, being observed on Thursday, and having art project craziness on Friday, I am more than happy that the week is over. I had really hoped this student teaching experience would cement my feelings and thoughts about being a teacher, not give me more doubts. But this is my experience, like it or not, and I have learned many things... I just have to remember that bad stuff can be a teaching tool too.

Big news of the weekend - The Singers had their first concert this evening. Even with getting lost, I managed to get there on time and had a most enjoyable experience. There is definitely something to be said for amazing harmonies combined with the Christmas message. A few good friends thrown in the mix doesn't hurt either. I would definitely recommend looking into The Singers - high quality stuff.

So yes... two weeks left... boy does that make me happy. I'm going to miss my kids like crazy. I'm not going to miss having someone looking over my shoulder at everything I do. I think being watched has the opposite effect on me as opposed to most people... I think usually being watched makes people do their job better, but I think that I do worse because I get so annoyed with not being trusted that I just don't care. I should work on that. Goals for the week: keep the room clean, get more sleep, find time to practice organ. It doesn't really sound that tough... but it is.

Well, for the sake of the one person who reads this, here I am again. (by the way... huge thank you to that person for fixing the comment spamming that was going on - it's much better now!!) The weekend, even though it was a 3-dayer, was much too short. And much too much money was spent. I have this horrible habit of thinking I have nothing to wear because my closet seems empty, and thus buying more clothes. (even though I must say, my purchases were very good deals this weekend) But the only reason my closet seems empty is because I have not done laundry in a good 3 weeks. Thus, my newly stocked closet currently has no room for the clothes that are currently waiting to be washed. I need a bigger closet.

I feel as though I accomplished nothing this weekend. That's not really true. In reality, I got nearly all of my lesson plans for the week done, except for reading and social studies, which are blocked, but need to be written. Maybe I will be able to work ahead this week to aleviate some of the stress that was felt over this weekend and possibly allow a roadtrip to Kansas. (does anyone want to go??) Yes, Kansas. One of my friends from grade school is on a football team. They are in the playoffs and playing the #1 team on Saturday. It might very well be his last game, and it's only 9 hours away. (I am odd. 9 hours seriously doesn't seem like a very long time to drive for something for me... maybe I'm just that used to being in a car. I don't know) However, as of yet, (surprisingly) no one wants to go with me. I'm not sure I'm up to being alone for that long - I'm alone most of the week as it is. (well, not really, but that's how it seems)

What else did I do this weekend... hmmm... well, Friday was shopping with Grandma, and lesson plans. Saturday was Shrek 2 and lesson plans. Today was the Packers game... and... lesson plans Notice a trend?

It's almost Turkey day, which makes me very happy. That means my mom is coming up. That means that for 5 days, all that stupid responsible adult stuff falls back on my mom instead of me. It means I can get sick or something and know that she's there to worry about it. I like it that way. It's less stressful. It also means that my roomie from last year will be back and in her rightful place across the hall from me. It will be ever so nice to have her back to talk to. That should make the whole stress thing much better too.

Well, it's almost 9. Time to party? Right... time for bed. I am tired. Very very tired.

Goodness... I haven't posted in quite a long time. Oh well - it's not like anyone reads this anyways. I have good reason for not posting - I've been both student teaching and doing the musical. I don't really suggest anyone doing that - but of course I had to give it a try. Now that all is said and done, I guess it didn't really go over too badly. I lost my temper with my crew once, but in all honest I would have done that even if I wasn't over-tired. I don't think my student teaching suffered at all - just my sanity. But that usually is suffering anyways, so it didn't make much difference. Now I'm done with my last MLC, and really my last musical ever as a student. It's a little sad now that I'm sitting in my room thinking about it - I made some very good friendships through musicals - it's amazing what that little booth can do to people... and I will surely miss that. Hopefully my call will allow me to use my talents in this area again.

Now all I've got is the student teaching. And how is that going? Well, honestly, I'd rather be a student than a teacher at this point. I enjoy it I guess, but it's not like I am super excited to go every day. Maybe it would be better if I had complete control - we all know what a control freak I am Either way, there's this small part of me that is saying this whole teaching thing is just not for me. However, it is too late to quit now - that would be a very silly thing to do, and I'm not really very bad at teaching. I actually think I'm quite good. I also think that I've been a student for so very long that it's hard to see myself as anything else. Getting a call will be a huge life change - the biggest change I've had since I was 15. I'm just hoping that next year teaching in a high school will be better. In a high school I could do all the things that I love so much, like drama and choir, and not have to worry about how long my science unit is going to be. Of course then there's the issue of very few high school calls... but whatever. Just gotta give it to God - he'll figure it out.