history repeats itself... again...

How can a person deal with a terrible situation, not once, but twice, and still not learn enough to keep it from happening again. I don't get it. I feel let down... disappointed... uninspired... betrayed. I am sick of walking around in a daze, feeling sick, and having a head full of questions. I am sick of having the people I look up to, respect, admire, and attempt to emulate let me down. I am sick of wondering who else is hiding things from me and the rest of the world. I am sick of sin. My mother always says the devil works hardest among the believers, but never have I had such a full understanding of what she meant. I want explanations which I know will be long in coming and apologies which might never happen. I want to be done. 92 days.